Stories and News

Stories and News No. 1295 Satirical reply to Don't Gas Africa ’s letter addressed to African citizens without access to electricity. Dear brothers, I know you are at least 600 million . Aren't you tired of living in the dark, while north of it we wallow in volts? Listen to that good Samaritan Tony Blair (yes, that's him ) when he says that [the Africans, you guys] need to be able to get gas. Gas will be a transition fuel for them . Transition to what? What does it matter, when today is gloomy, i.e. with the light bulb off? Who better than you should know? Evil tongues argue that the rest of us are not interested in your fate and we are only concerned with ours. Well, our horizons are linked, my brothers, because of that unfortunate war in Ukraine. What if we try to see the latter as an opportunity rather than a misfortune? Otherwise, why do you think that at the last COP (which really means Conference of Parasites, not "Parties" of the United Nations involved...

Stories and News No. 862 The list with the names continue to be spread by newspapers, day after day, to be sipped with skill, in order to keep the readers glued to the next revelation. No problem with that, it is a trivial publishing marketing’s rule, just as it is equally obvious the comments by exposed VIPs: “I didn’t now, someone opened an account without my knowledge, behind my back they bought me houses and boats in the tropics, I don’t even know where the pool’s water where I'm reading the slander about me comes from, to be honest.” That is why I prefer to talk about who are not in that list... Maybe I am wrong. That is more than plausible, I make a lot of mistakes, I have behind an entire career made by errors. However, I am almost certain that the condominium concierge where I live is not in the offshore account holders list. Yes, all right, last week I saw he had a less used sweater than usual and he was also smoking a not among the cheapest cigarettes brand, bu...

Stories and News No. 798 Once upon a time there were two friends. Indeed, it begins so: there are two friends . But it is not a joke. One of them meets the other, who is reading the newspaper. "What are you doing?" "I read." "What are you reading?" "The news on the discussion about same-sex marriages ..." "I see, gay adoptions ." "No, not at all, I said same-sex marriages , you know? Those forms of cohabitation between two people of the same... " "Yes, I understand, you're talking about gay adoptions ." "It’s not true, when you hear that? I said same-sex marriages, forms of cohabitation linked by bonds of affection..." "Yes, of course, gay adoptions." "I did not say gay adoptions," the man screams. "I repeat, I said - by spelling – same-sex marriages ..." "Of course, gay adoptions ." "Are you deaf or what?" His friend almost yells, victi...

Stories and News No. 740 It seems that finally the US president Barack Obama has asked to remove Cuba from the list of countries considered – by the USA - terrorism sponsor. This suggests me the following story... Once upon a time there was a land and an island. The land of opportunities and the island of obstinate people . So defined in one direction. Island of free people , on the contrary. Depending on where everyone looked the other. For smooth and democratic agreement, I will use the most welcome to both names. The land of opportunities was so called because this is what it was. Endorsement of any opportunities. Even to self-define. The land of opportunities . The land of opportunities, then, allowed many of them. As the right to create a list. A blacklist . Always black the unpleasant color, isn’t it? Well, being honest, since immemorial time the bad guys lists are white . At least originally. Then you fill it with red pen. There is no trace of black. All...

Stories and News No. 733 A tourist camped at the north pole to see the solar eclipse was attacked by a polar bear. The man was brought to a nearby hospital with wounds cured in a few weeks. Oh sorry, but you too... Try to understand me. Because if you do not understand, I come to the hospital to end what I started. Oh sorry, you know, but you... You come up to the North Pole to watch the sky? How weird are you guys? Besides other adjectives banned in every state except the south pole. I've always wondered why someone told me that in the latter bears might say what they want, when they want and especially how. The south pole must be the real land of freedom. Maybe, this is also just another illusion, because if you think the best you always image the other part, as the sky above. Oh sorry, but you... I could not avoid to bite your arm. You would have done the same if you was me. Put yourself in my skin, if you've never done. Besides, if you've never done...

Stories and News No. 729 Once upon a time there was a man. One as many. A gentleman who is attentive to the world’s atrocities. Because abhorring horror means something. It must mean something. I cannot remember what, but it is important. You need despise if the script requires it. "Those uncivilized people", the man exclaimed that day in his balcony, speaking to his fellow neighbor of the front window. "The use chlorine gas bombs for their attacks. Did you hear that?" No reply. "Oh, I see, you are used to that, gosh. It's a shame, we should bomb them all, those guys with long beards and scimitar. " Ever quiet. "They are beasts, I'm not racist, but these are real animals. They also force children to kill in place of them, do you understand? " Nothing on the opposite side. "Of course you understand, it does not take a genius to see that this is a religious war, no jokes. Here we risk all, we must learn to defend oursel...

Stories and News No. 726 It seems that there were no electromagnetic phenomena, not even military experiments or alien activity, behind the fires in Caronia, Italy, but people’s fraud to steal economic subsidies. Light on darkness. The worst form of it. The phony obscurity, cooked intrigue, that takes away to enigmatic horizon the charm it deserves. The fires of Caronia are human stuff, gentlemen. The deception is revealed. The emperor is naked, and, apparently, he has nothing relevant to show. However, this is only the beginning, because it was the classic misfires that breaks the cup. Filled with lies. The next day it was discovered that Africa was a continent rich, the richest on the planet. Rich of colors and shapes, but also of tough substance, black and yellow gold, sparkling stones and magic gas that moves things and houses. Africans, as people of Africa, were therefore rich. So the real poor were the old rich. Or old and new thieves. The next day a formula tha...

Stories and News No. 724 Once upon a time there was a town. Many fell to the town coming from north to south, since its founding. Ab Urbe condita , using an easier expression for healthy memory persons and not for the others. All affirming to have the right answer. Which people needed the most. Just one answer , without vain syntactic and semantic harpings. You know, people have a lot of unresolved questions. When someone comes to simplify they see him as god on earth. The word becomes flesh. What animal or carcass was it does not count. So the day when Matteo Salvini had come to the town arrived. No, not him , another Matteo Salvini . Beautiful and tall, so we do not get confused. Here I just tell a story, I can make some joke, people’s lives do not depend on it. Matteo was a few moments from his long-awaited debut. He was closed in the camper and was rehearsing the speech he should tell in front of the crowded square. In that time someone knocked at the door. ...

Stories and News No. 721 While most of Italy debates and anguish before the feared hashtag #We_Are_Coming_O_Rome , in the world that remains life continues. Most often must, otherwise the fridge remains empty. This paradoxical composition of existences moves my imagination to the following story... Once upon a time there was an island. On the island there were two tribes. The two tribes were different. There is little to add. Being different, they lived in a dissimilar way. One had chosen the highest point of the island. The top of the mountain. And not for the sake of the good air. The above inhabitants did not choose high places in obedience to the passion for something, but the fear of it. And where is terror to influence your heart’s beating, rather than the interest in something new, there is no space to relax. Hard to do, when you spend most of the time both eyes fixed on the horizon. Awaiting the inevitable arrival of him. The frightening enemy invader. On th...

Stories and News No. 712 I could play. For example with the automatic generator of presidential settlement speeches . A joke. Kids stuff , if you let me use a self-referential reference. Yes, self-referential. Very appropriate adjective, since we are talking about modern governments. I will be everybody’s president , could have been the most popular among phrases erupted by that generator. With deep and sincere emotion , the opening words. There is need for trust and hope in the country , the expected omen. No more room for divisions and controversies , the inevitable warning. Ours is a great nation, rich in history and culture , yet another chorus. The challenges ahead are difficult , the obvious prediction. Jobs for young people and care of the elderly , the usual mentions. And so on. Without surprise. You have just read the book backwards and remember. A power that does not believe that the flowing futures might really lead to the sea, will hardly find voice. To ...

Stories and News No. 707 Catholics shouldn't breed like rabbits . Yes, I read this news. Okay… I cannot read, since I'm a rabbit. I found out, somebody told me. The mandrill did. He is always thinking about that . You know what it feels like, right? Anyway, I will absolutely not disrespecting anyone. However, since this thing of not to have children as we do is out, all eyes are on us. Not just you, people. The other night my wife and I got out the den and found a blind mole selling pirated copies of our making out. Pirate copies? Is there also the original?! Mole, I said, you're blind, you did not even see the video! Of course I'm blind, he replied, because I watch this things and I touch myself... What do you say? You were born like this! Words to the wind, this is the problem. Wind bring words and spread them everywhere, getting inside, invading you and who pay the price? Those who even ignored you were talking about them. Like us. The rabbits....

Story published on the collection: Italian short stories, a dual language book : True short stories collection to understand contemporary Italy (2017)

Stories and News No. 698 I'm not racist, I want to put beforehand. I just want a criteria of reality. This story could also be called criteria of reality . I have always believed that one of our biggest problems lies in our lack of criteria of reality. Think of our planet. The planet earth. We call earth a planet which is made for the most part of water. We should call it planet water , not earth . Criteria of reality. Think about us. We define us as human beings. Human? Think carefully about human adjective. Well, we are the last thing on this world that is definable human . Saying that animals are often more human than us is trivial. Animals? The stones, the stones are more human than us. Criteria of reality. Take the Christian commandments, the ten commandments. You should not covet neighbor's stuff . A stone does not want other stone’s stuff. They are both made of stone, so no wish. At the same time, any of us, watching desirable things in other peo...

Stories and News No. 692 In Siberia, at -52C, passengers must push the plane to facilitate the take-off, since the carriage was blocked due to the freezing of the brake fluid. So the flight continued. On the other hand, the problem is never who gets down to push... Those who remain. Those who remain on board. You may easily see those who remain on board. Indeed, you may listen to them. They are the loudest to shout. Those who claim to be angry. And tired. Yes, you read that right. Tired. Those who remain on board are the ones who complain the most. And they are also the ones that have many things to tell you about it. Why the plane has stopped. Why it does not fly anymore. Why we all are in the ground. Unacceptable nightmare. Because when you fly you can always brag of being in first class. And you can always curse everybody not to be there. Hard to do, when the toy breaks for all. Those who remain on board are all the same, tell me if I am wrong. The chillin...

Stories and News No. 690 Italian standing sentinels , we are with you. We have understood. We have got the message, brothers and sisters. Where and between the latter two words is not random. As husband and wife. Wife or husband is bad, we agree. Husband and wife, alleluia. We agree with everything you say. Even if you keep quiet. That’s better, in fact. No, we are not ironic. We are serious. Silence is good for us. Above all you remain still, we will arrive soon, but we explain this at the end. You are for natural family. That’s right. Nature is good. To be born, live, die. And return, as you believe. This is true, we are a living proof. Quite the contrary, but we clarified this after too. Life is simple, you are very right. To sleep and to eat. Not eating everything. Nature donate food. Men and women are made naturally. Therefore, all men and women are food . Also the strange latter syllogism will become clear at the end. You are against man and man m...

Stories and News No. 658 Saturday, March 29 will be the eighth Earth Hour Day , an event organized by WWF to raise awareness about the global warming problem. In particular, it aims to increase energy savings, since the organizers consider it accountable for the high temperature of the planet, inviting participants to turn off the lights at a specific time of the day. However, if the fate of the planet is at stake and if we speak about Earth Hour, I think we must give space to the point of view of those who have less attention than us. Indeed, not having any guilt about what is happening, they should have more... Aye - Aye . This is my common name. Daubentonia madagascariensis , for the record. The Slow , for friends. No hard feelings, that’s clear. I'm slow, I'm not ashamed. I always have been. Last to arrive. And last to enter. Last to go up. And, above all, the last to understand, that’s clear. That’s why I hope you will be lenient if understanding you will...

Stories and News No. 648 No, we are not as Uganda, where a tabloid publishes a list of the top 200 homosexuals. Watch the video We are a civilized country. No, we don’t do these things. Telling the truth, we too have our rankings. And what's wrong? There is nothing bad in classifying. The sin, where it is, concerns the object of contention. The reasons for the primacy of one over the other. It's all that, think about it. For example, speaking about press freedom ranking, it seems natural to me that provokes boast to the first as shame to last one. But these are the charts that divide. The rich from the poor. The north from the south. We do not, we in the civilized country are off these contentions. Because our freedom of the press has never been questioned. As well as freedom of religion and freedom of expression and opinion. Imagine the sex freedom. That’s why we are here to strongly reaffirm that we are not like them. Nevertheless, we are outraged and...

Stories and News No. 647 They told me, so they told me. It seems that in Europe there are 11 million empty houses . They told me so, so they did. How many empty homes are there? So that guy asked me, I never remember his name. 11 million , I replied. Because I cannot remember his name but he’s nice to me. Not always, today he does. And then, if you're nice to me today, I will not forget this. At least for today. But 11 million empty houses... Well, I do not forget it easily. Tomorrow too. An empty home, and then multiplies it. With an empty kitchen. No stove? Never mind, it's always a kitchen, listen to me. So an empty bathroom. Devoid of WC? I told you never mind, trust me. Empty means it is empty. I can go in when I want to. As in the kitchen. Then I want to see who will protest. If both are empty. Because if both are empty, and so the entire house, even the bedroom is no exception. Do you know how empty things work? You can only fill them. Th...

Stories and News No. 645 I am breathless. The reason? I’ll tell you at the end. I read that there is yet another end of the world coming in, this time predicted by the Vikings: the Ragnarok . The end of the world. The end of the world as we know it. Let me imagine it, right now. Yes, I know, I was already fooled by Maya, but try to understand me. Here we dream, this should write on the entrance. Indeed, here we hope, that gives better the right idea. The end of the world... The end of modern society. Of one-way streets and toll roads, high but also low speed trains, ever new Iphone and always old frauds. No more national governments and geographical boundaries. No documents, residence permits or even just die on the sidelines, where no one sees you. The end of TV. Telesales interspersed with soaps selling everything except a story that is worth your time. The disappearance of the money. Banks and ATMs, taxes, transfers, checks. The disappearance of the prisons. No...

Stories and News No. 643 Ladies and gentlemen, after 400 years we made it. Watch the video One of the most famous optical illusions has been unveiled . Why does a white object on a black background appear larger than the contrary, even with the same size? Galileo Galilei was the first to raise this question, and on the occasion of his 450th anniversary, a team of researchers from the State University of New York found that the illusion depends on how our eyes identify light and dark. That is, our interpretation of the black/white contrast is conditioned by the idea we have of both. Damn, this is a scoop. Come on, who among you has not thought the same thing? The implications of this revolutionary scientific enterprise force us to look at things on a different light, literally. Although of the same size, up to now the white on black seemed larger than the black on white background because we had prejudices. Let's face it. This conditioning mechanism has made great da...