Skip to main content

Don’t gas Africa satirical reply

Stories and News No. 1295

Satirical reply to Don't Gas Africa’s letter addressed to African citizens without access to electricity.

Dear brothers,
I know you are at least 600 million. Aren't you tired of living in the dark, while north of it we wallow in volts?
Listen to that good Samaritan Tony Blair (yes, that's him) when he says that [the Africans, you guys] need to be able to get gas. Gas will be a transition fuel for them.
Transition to what? What does it matter, when today is gloomy, i.e. with the light bulb off? Who better than you should know?
Evil tongues argue that the rest of us are not interested in your fate and we are only concerned with ours. Well, our horizons are linked, my brothers, because of that unfortunate war in Ukraine.
What if we try to see the latter as an opportunity rather than a misfortune? Otherwise, why do you think that at the last COP (which really means Conference of Parasites, not "Parties" of the United Nations involved in climate change) there was a record number of fossil fuel lobbyists, more than 600? You think they’re there for the rich buffet and the free gadgets?
Listen to those who know - or have, the result is the same - more than you. Pay attention to the "disinterested" verb of Sudanese British billionaire Mo Ibrahim says: “We need a balanced and fair policy for all. Gas can be useful for our transition.”
Transition is the keyword, you understand? Not gas. Leave the latter to the rest of us, we know how to make it bear fruit. We did it before you and… yes, it led us to another war in the heart of Europe, but what do you think? That turning on that damn chandelier every day is free? In those cables more or less buried in the depths of consciousness blood has been flowing for a lifetime.
But you have poured so much up to now, are we looking at the drop?
Of course, if you prefer to hear those of Carbon Tracker, poor you, even if you already are so.
They bring up fairy tales such as time, the future, and the fact that when in 2040 the demand for gas across the border is halved, you will face irreversible crises. What reasoning is this? Enough with these overrated foresight and planning things also and especially in relation to long deadlines. Tomorrow is an invention of the gullible, and this is also your problem. You worry too much about getting to the next day.
How does the famous verse say? And then there was light. At best, it is. We never read or listen: And then there “will be” light.
Obviously, in your moment of weakness, together with the guys from the CT, some guys will put bizarre ideas into your head, taking advantage of the vulnerability and extreme needs you are going through.
In fact, we have heard that they are trying to convince you that you already have the way to obtain light, i.e. clean and sustainable electricity, on the surface without the need to go drilling and digging. And it's free too, they say. It seems they call them wind and sun, what absurd names. It's fake news. The wind and the sun do not exist. These are primitive and imaginary tribal fabrications that have nothing to do with civilization.
We are your Wind, we are your Sun, and you are… us, now, as your gas is and will be ours as long as we need it.
Exactly as it has been up to now with oil, coal and everything else…

Subscribe to Newsletter